Delayed, But Full of Dashain!

Picture 1: Me with my tika - the red dot is the tika, made of red dye and rice powder; the black line symbolizes that is a special tika for Dashain; the red and white fabric around my neck is a malla (special gift with the tika); and although you can't see it, I have the special grasses and flowers tucked into my ponytail.

Picture 2: The Banepa temple. Beautiful location, but only for the very devout - HUGE hill to get up!

Picture 3: One of the last survivors of Dashain...

Picture 4: View of Banepa from the temple

Picture 5: This is one of the more creative ways that Nepalis keep people from tresspassing - I've also seen rusty nails, barbed wires...

Picture 6: What my feet looked like after walking maybe halfway to the village. The trail is NOT the way to go in the rain!

Picture 7: Why my feet looked so muddy...

Picture 8: Charlotte on the 'ping', the swing made specially for Dashain. You see them all over Nepal.

Picture 9: Ranuka (right), Unika (left), and Unik (front). They were so precious!

Picture 10: Not sure this picture does the crowdedness of the bus justice, but it was PACKED...that's why it's leaning precariously off the road.

I apologize for the delay in blog posts – I have been sick for the majority of the past week, and thus have had few interesting experiences to blog about. When I finally decided to go the doctor, it was discovered that I had the Nepali flu. Nasty stuff – in the US it would be closer to horrible cold/bronchitis I think! Fortunately it seems to be going away thanks to cough syrup and crazy amounts of vitamins. I am back in Banepa with my homestay family, and we are in the midst of the Dashain festival here in Nepal.

Bijaya Dashami (Durga’s Victory) celebrates just that – the goddess Durga’s victory over evil. It is a predominantly Hindu holiday, though like Christmas and Thanksgiving in the States, it has become a cultural holiday celebrated by everyone in some manner. They might as well – it lasts for 2 weeks! The last two days have been the most exciting of Dashain, as they involve massive amounts of slaughter (goats and water buffalo) and feasts. Nothing is wasted in Nepal. Yesterday was the day of the big nation-wide slaughter, so the families have been cooking and feasting like crazy. I avoided the streets, not wanting to see all the cute goats I’ve seen “mehhing” their way to slaughter actually killed. Besides being sick, it was also raining, so I stayed at the house with Charlotte (a Fulbrighter from last year who lived here and is back to visit) and we made bread - very poorly, given that we were not used to baking in Nepal - and hung out while the family feasted and partied elsewhere.
Today’s celebration was the Tika-celebration where everyone receives “tika” – red marks on their forehead made with a red powder mixed with rice – as well as a necklace made of red and white fabric that is given on special occasions (malla), apples, walnuts and pieces of coconut. Today the special part of the offering is called janai, a type of grass that is planted on the first day of Dashain on peoples’ altars and is given today for people to wear in their hair, around their necks, or tucked behind their ears. Also, in deference to the Dashain holiday, a black mark is made under the red tika. When everything is given (the food and flowers as well as tika) it is called “Prasad”. Left to our own devices today, Charlotte and I wandered Banepa (most things were closed) and went to see if one of the maamaa’s (mother’s brother’s) shop was open. When we arrived, we were swiftly ushered upstairs, given tika and Prasad and told to sit, drink raksi (Nepali moonshine, best I can tell), and given Newari food. The family is in the Newari (pronounced ney wari) caste, and are mostly merchants and shopkeepers. This caste was the first to settle the valley and is found all over Banepa and in Kathmandu. Also, a cultural note – it is considered rude to turn down what is offered to you to eat and drink (I catch a lot of flack for being a vegetarian here because my host family eats lots of meat, especially during Dashain!) and the raksi is especially important to partake in, because each family makes their own using a secret recipe never to be revealed to an outsider and are very proud of their raksi. After receiving tikas, food and raksi from the family (note that it was about 10am here), Charlotte and I went to find birthday presents for Tikaji (the host father – he was named after ‘tika’ day) and got him some apples and a coconut. When we had purchased the presents, we found ourselves locked out, so we walked to the Banepa temple – a beautiful temple set on top of a large hill that overlooks the valley surrounding it.

We then went to Shreekhandapur, a nearby village that Charlotte taught English in when she lived in Banepa last year. She had taught a girl named Unika in the village and had become very close to her family, so we decided to visit. The roads leading to the village were horrendous, and the pounding rain that has come back was very evident on the roads – ponds and mud abound! The family is compassionate and generous and was so welcoming to us despite living in extreme poverty. The house consisted of one room that served as bedroom/kitchen/living area and was approximately 10x18 square feet for 5 people and one are the way (there are four children, but one is married and lives elsewhere). Regardless, we were treated as honored guests and given preferential seating on the bed and fed a good lunch. The children then took us on a tour of the village and we were treated to a turn on the Dashami swing (ping) – a treat for the children (and adults!) consisting of a swing constructed of four bamboo rods. When we returned we chatted (well Charlotte chatted in Nepali, and I tried to discern what was going on!), taught the children some songs (Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes….), and gave them some stickers Charlotte had brought. Before we left, Unika (the youngest daughter) presented me with a lovely pink, glittery, plastic bracelet. I felt bad taking it, but the gift was given with love, and I look forward to visiting again and hopefully beginning to repay the family’s kindness. They were such a blessing to me today. I also hope to go back to check on the mother – she’s pregnant with her 5th child, not of age where the pregnancy is likely to be easy, and seems very ill. A new child will be very difficult for the family.

After our visit to Shreekhandapur, we went back to Banepa to the MaaMaa’s house, where, like Thanksgiving, the party was still raging, food and raksi was being provided liberally, and good cheer abounded. We were greeted with fresh cups of raksi and thanks to my lovely dai (big brother) who had told everyone that I play the guitar and sing, I was asked to sing for the group. A note to those who aren’t aware of this, I don’t sing in public! I can’t hear myself well enough to be confident in my voice. When I said no, that I couldn’t sing without my guitar, my oldest dai and his cousins begin playing air guitar in accompaniment. Aided by cheers and liquid courage thanks to the Nepali moonshine, I sang. Fortunately it wasn’t too horrible, because everyone clapped in a rather sincere manner when I finished! It was a fun evening, full of good food and company that ended late – 7pm – when we walked back to our own houses to play Uno and relax before it was time for bed.

I Can Face Anything With a Guitar in My Hands!

So things have been looking up since Thursday! I think I just needed to get the really bad day out of my way so that good days could begin again. It has actually proved to be rather cathartic. Some highlights from the last few days:

Friday I went to Baneshwor, a distant part of Kathmandu, because my phone had locked me out on Thursday night and I needed to get another SIM card. I took a taxi to the NCELL office because I had no idea where it was, but decided to be adventurous (and cheap) on the way home. I hailed a bus that was going to Bhat Bhateni (according to the conductor) and felt quite proud of myself for maneuvering the tricky bus system - or lack thereof - here. Sadly, what I didn't realize is that there are TWO Bhat Bhateni supermarkets. So I ended up far from my original destination and was dropped off on the the highway outside of Kathmandu in front of the "new" Bhat Bhateni. Fortunately, two very nice traffic cops came to my aid and hailed the bus to the correct Bhat Bhateni for me! So I got home....eventually!

Friday night was a fun night out for a Fulbright friend's birthday, so a bunch of us met up at a restaurant in Thamel. It was fun, relaxing and the food and company were awesome. Just what I needed.

Saturday night, Swetha and I went to Mike's Breakfast for dinner and WIFI. We were so busy enjoying fast internet that we didn't get home until around 9pm. When we arrived we realized that the landlord had accidentally locked the gate from the inside so we couldn't get in. I decided to be useful and set out climbing to the top of the gate, over the fence and down into the courtyard. I was just getting down when I noticed the landlord standing by the fence staring at me. They'd heard us trying to get in and had come to open the gate....oops. If barbed wire goes up around the fence it's probably my fault.

Sunday (today) was amazing for one reason - I got a guitar! I probably spent more on it than I should, but I figure that a bit more money to keep me sane is totally worth it. Besides, I likely have limited time to hear music - I'd rather hear music with better sound quality! I find it bizarre that God would give me both musical aptitude and a progressive hearing loss, but I am thankful that I have the time and ability to learn and memorize as many songs as possible. Regardless, the purchase of a guitar made for a VERY good day!

Tomorrow I go to the airport and maybe the post office (very grudgingly) to apply for reimbursement for my luggage and see if my other package has arrived. I'll most likely head back to Banepa tomorrow afternoon.

Hope life is treating everyone wonderfully!

Mailing Packages? PLEASE READ

I have a huge favor to ask. If you are sending anything larger than a letter, please send it through Fed Ex or DHL! Given my experience at the post office (see post below), I’m not sure that going to the post office is worth anything that may be waiting for me there! In no way am I asking you not to send things if you want – I would LOVE to get them – but the post office trip today was pretty traumatic, and going through the postal service means that it is very likely the package will get lost or stolen.

The address to use for DHL or Fed Ex is different than the one I previously posted.
See below:

Bethany Hundley
C/O Nepal Fulbright Commission
Gyaneshwor, Kathmandu, Nepal
Tel: 4444780

And the Straw that Broke the Camel's Back is....

The Nepali Post Office.

The last week or so that I’ve been in Banepa has been rewarding, yes, but also a serious test of my mental and emotional prowess. It was bound to be a bit too much at some point. The reason it is so difficult is not because anything is bad, or people are unfriendly, but rather because of unfamiliarity and lack of communication. To come into a family’s house to live still learning about Nepali culture and still ingrained in American culture is a culture shock. The cultural norms are vastly different, and what we think of as a right (like privacy), Nepali families see as totally unnecessary.

Even mealtimes are different and therefore slightly uncomfortable. You eat sitting on a bamboo mat in the kitchen (usually by yourself), and typically eat at 7am, 9:30am, 2 or 4pm, and 8pm. The afternoon meal (in my host family’s house) consists of whatever the cooking class (Sudip teaches a class at the house) makes, and is a crowded affair with the family and the cooking class crowded in the main area on the floor or couch. The night meal is usually dhal bhat (rice with lentil stew and cooked veggies) and is served to me in the kitchen on the floor. Whomever has made it (often the daughter in law) typically stares at me while I eat, hovering over with a pan of rice trying to get me to eat more.

Communication has been wearing too. Not only am I speaking and learning 4 languages, but none of them provide me satisfactory communication. My deafness makes it difficult to understand people who are speaking accented English, my lip-reading ability for spoken Nepali is slim to nil, and even sign isn’t perfect because I’ve only mastered the basic words. Complex, meaningful conversation is impossible with such a limited vocabulary. I have a whole new empathy for my deaf students who have physical impediments which make communication difficult and basal because that is no way to live at all. Everyone deserves a meaningful way to communicate.

So with all the stressors, I was looking forward to coming back to Kathmandu to get a package my parents sent (with items that would have been in my luggage) and to get my phone. I took the bus to Kathmandu (it was wonderfully cheap, but you get what you pay for – every time I thought it was full, 10 more people got on!) and then got off at the post office. Feeling proud of myself for making it to where I needed to be, I walked into the post office to get my package.

It was horrible! First of all, I was directed to an external building that included package pickup and customs. Then I had to go back and forth between 3 rooms having no clue what was going on for about 30 minutes. Lots of forms to fill out and people sending me elsewhere. I finally got my package and saw (they open it there) that it was actually my second package that my parents sent. I was looking for the running shoes but got the hiking boots. I was happy to get the hiking boots, but I hadn’t realized how much of a lifeline the running shoes were for me until I discovered they weren’t there. This really upset me, both because I’ve been dying to run, and because it meant that the running shoe package was likely lost or stolen. This was the first half of the straw. I then had to run back and forth between the rooms for another hour and half while people tried to tell me what I needed to do, but I couldn’t understand anyone! Finally, I figured out that I had to pay all kinds of customs fees. It was so depressing to see my package sitting on the table but be unable to bring it home with me until I fought through everything with these people with whom I couldn’t communicate. This was the second half of the straw.

Finally, a good 2 hours later, I got into a taxi and had to force myself to hold it together until I got to the Fulbright Office. Apparently I only partially succeeded, because the driver kept shooting concerned looks back at me. Once I arrived, I broke down for a bit from the frustration of communication, lost packages, lost luggage, cultural stressors and everything else. Thankfully, the director of Fulbright Nepal was in no way shocked to see this (apparently it happens to everyone at one time or another) and helped me pull myself together. It’s amazing that what is such a good thing (being in Nepal) can be SO stressful, particularly in the event of so many things lost.

I love Nepal and the people and am extremely grateful to be here. But I HATE the Nepali Post Office!

A Jumble of Culture and Language

First off, let me begin by apologizing for my grammar, which I suspect has been going downhill lately. Today alone I’ve either been thinking in, or learning, four different languages – English, American Sign Language, spoken Nepali, and Nepali Sign Language. For the linguists among you, it is more like 3 languages and one mode of communication (Nepali Sign Language (NSL) does not have its own grammar), but regardless, it FEELS like four languages! Secondly, a warning – this is a long post!

Today has been a crazy day, beginning at 5:00am. My dai (big brother) in my host family, got tired of me disappearing on “walks” all the time and invited me on a walk this morning with he and his friends. We left at 5:15, met up with two of his friends and proceeded to both wear me out and solve one of the mysteries of Nepal. I’ve been trying to figure out how Nepali people eat so much and stay so thin (other than the fact that the food is healthier), when you NEVER see anyone working out. Mystery solved- I simply wasn’t waking up early enough. Many of the men go on walks or jogs in the morning, while dai informs me that the women often do yoga. Our walk was GORGEOUS and took us outside of Banepa and into the fields and rice terraces surrounding the city. We did a large loop, ending up at Kathmandu University, where I was taught some authentic yoga and meditation poses and participated in the plyometrics the guys I was with did. I was worn out by the end! If I keep this up, I’ll be back in shape in no time I’m sure. I would post pictures of where we walked, but I didn’t have my camera, and besides, no pictures would ever do it justice. To see what I saw, and feel how spiritual walking and doing yoga outside in Nepal as the sun comes up is, you’re just going to have to come visit!

A remarkable 5 hours after I woke up (5 am is definitely not my normal wake up time), I walked to the Kavre Deaf School (Banepa) which is just a short walk from the house. If I thought that I got thrown in headfirst at the Delaware School for the Deaf, I plunged in headfirst today! Instead of simply having to be a student in a school with a different language, I arrived at 10 and was TEACHING by 10:30! Despite trying to explain to the principal that I was there to observe the teaching methods and coach volleyball (if she still needed a volleyball coach), she asked me to teach (well, took me to the classroom, said “you’re teaching” and left). My first experience teaching in Nepal was actually quite painless after I got over the initial shock, and I believe I learned at least as much as the students – probably more!

Since I obviously had no idea what to do, we followed the English workbooks that the principal had gestured towards, and eventually hit a stride. Today’s lesson was full of various English verbs, writing cursive, story comprehension questions, and the ever-difficult concepts of “these, this, that & those”. Sprinkled throughout the lesson were also American Sign Language signs, as the students were eager to learn those as well. We made our way through the lesson with me leading the students in a choral reading of the different sections (ironically, leading only after they informed me of the Nepali sign for a number of the words)! The most successful part of the lesson was the “this, that, these, those” concepts, as I had finally begun to get in my stride as a teacher. I think I surprised the students though, because when I teach as I’m inclined to, I’m animated, using props, and asking for volunteers! If their reactions are any indication, this is more of an American style of teaching than a Nepali style. I first drew the concepts in pictures on the board and had them label them after I’d explained everything. Once I saw a slight inkling of understanding, but not total understanding, I went for the kill with scraps of fabric used for cleaning the chalk board. I put the scraps in four piles, a close pile with one scrap, a close pile with a bunch of scraps, a far pile with one scrap, and a far pile with a bunch of scraps; this, these, that, & those, respectively. I had the students practice by telling me (fingerspelling) which pile I was standing near, and then we did it again with them writing the answer on the board. I realized how much I miss teaching as I watched the proverbial “light bulb” go off for each student. We repeated the exercise later, and they still knew them all at first try!

I just realized that the above lesson description may be completely boring to anyone but me, so if it is, please let me know so I can refrain from monotonous descriptions of instruction in the future! The rest of the day went by fairly well, but I have a long way to go before my NSL is sufficient to gather the deep qualitative research I need to begin. I hope to find an interpreter soon, and will be asking around the next few days to see if there is anyone available. Ideally they’ll know NSL, spoken Nepali, and English but I’m aware that I’m asking a bit much…

The last thing is that I would like to ask your prayers for my host mother (ama). She is dealing with a disease of the gums (I’m not sure exactly what kind) and has had three surgeries already. Her last surgery was 2 weeks ago, but I know she has more coming up in her future. Fortunately she seems to be doing much better, and she seemed more chipper tonight than she’s been the rest of the time I’ve been here. My biggest reason for learning spoken Nepali is now my desire to carry on full conversations with her, as she has such a sweet spirit and I can’t wait to get to know her better! I hate not calling her by her name, but in the Nepali culture, husbands and wives never repeat their spouse’s name and Tikaji was the one to make the introductions. Thus, I haven’t learned it yet!

* Cultural note: Using the terms sister (bahini –younger; didi – older) and brother (bai – younger; dai –older) in Nepal are a sign of friendship – an inoffensive way to say “hey you!” When I use them here, they are simply a way for me to keep everyone straight!

A few pictures...Boudha & Banepa

Picture 1: Where I'm living in Banepa. There's a door at the top of the ramp where you go in. It's actually really nice inside. I was a little wary when we pulled up yesterday. Plus I have my own room!

Picture 2: My new running trail most likely! As soon as I get my sneakers.... It winds through the wheat fields and up into the hills.

Pictures 3-6: The area surrounding Banepa. The picture that is obstructed by pollution is looking down into Banepa from the hill coming into it towards Kathmandu.

Picture 7: An elaborately carved door in Boudha near the Boudha Stupa

Picture 8: A temple in the square surrounding the Boudha Stupa

Picture 9: Tibetian Buddhist prayer flags

Hello Banepa! Goodbye Independence....

Today I arrived in Banepa from Kathmandu. It's about an hour's drive, but feels much further away than I was anticipating. This is actually a good thing, because I have missed the mountains (probably "hills" in Nepal)and am thrilled to be within walking distance of areas away from the city. Banepa itself is a large town, with most everything you need right here.

My homestay family (consisting of Tikaji, his wife, 2 sons, 1 daughter, 2 daughter-in-laws, and 2 grandsons), is wonderful and has been extremely welcoming. When I arrived, I was met with many people gathered near the kitchen and found out that one of Tikaji's sons teaches a cooking class. Today we got to try potato soup and fried rice! One thing I'll soon be getting used to, however, is the fact that I can't just go where I feel like it and stay where I want. In general, Nepali families are very much a unit and very involved in each other's life. Privacy is not valued here as it is in America. Not that this is a bad thing - close families are great - but it will certainly take a bit of getting used to! To make things worse, I found out that one of the Fulbright staffers called Tikaji when I got sick at Indra Jatra, so I'm not only a western woman (2 strikes against me) I'm also "sickly"! Sigh...

I look forward to exploring Banepa and the surrounding areas and getting to know the people here. I should begin my work at the Kavre-Banepa Deaf School on Sunday. I'll post pictures soon!